Consequently the Second Maid

by @kellyk · @paulharrison

Liner Notes

This is a completely mad, Dylan-esque sort of experiment. I think I had "Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine)" in my head while penning it to maintain some kind of structure. Set out the lyrics for a call to collaboration...

Music now added by @paulharrison.

#folk #dylan

Lyrics

You’re standin’ at the washbasin
And you’re wonderin’ where the ladies planned to go
But thirty-seven hours gone
You think you’d notice the second round of snow
The porcelain cantatas and the ballerina’s news
Have got you thinkin’ you’ve succeeded, nothin’ now to lose
But Billy, think again
You don’t the know how or the when
Although you worked things out with the farmhand
When your wicked plans were laid
You forgot about the second maid

The swans behind the avenue
Are scattered at the least convenient time
And the scarlet-headed nettles
Turn away from your raw and mangled rhyme
But still I see you swaggerin’ as though you’ve won the day
You couldn’t trap a tourist anyway
So Billy, think again
You don’t the know how or the when
Although you worked things out with the farmhand
When your wicked plans were laid
You forgot about the second maid

Irene is twenty-six now
She’s worked her fingers to the bone
You thought she’d be impressed at last
By painted cockatiels alone
But anybody could have told you that Irene’s a little wired
She’s more likely to kick you down the stairs and get you fired
So Billy, think again
You don’t the know how or the when
Although you worked things out with the farmhand
When your wicked plans were laid
You forgot about the second maid

The stationary postman
Has come to give you all his stamps
It’s just the move you thought you needed
Having confiscated the mayor’s lamps
Of course, the postman sneezed at the critical hit
The lamps all flickered, and we got over it
So Billy, think again
You don’t the know how or the when
Although you worked things out with the farmhand
When your wicked plans were laid
You forgot about the second maid

She’s watching through her eyelids
As she keeps polishing the spoons
He’s upside down in silver now
While she hums edifying tunes
Only fools bend backwards for what they need the most
I’m only tryin’ to pacify your ghost
So Billy, think again
You don’t the know how or the when
Although you worked things out with the farmhand
When your wicked plans were laid
You forgot about the second maid

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