Unsacred Riffs From Meaty Palms

by @bamsekarhu

Unsacred Riffs From Meaty Palms
bamsekarhu
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Liner Notes

#opeth #progressivemetal #deathmetal #metal #synth #80ssynth #parody

Opeth was namedropped in comments so I made an opeth-y parody song about how 💩 I am at playing guitar.
Usually, when doing more than basic chugging stuff I resort to using Solemn Tones' Odin II to play the stuff I compose, but now I played everything by myself. Not the hardest riffs, but plenty hard for my meat mittens.

Insted of acoustic guitars, I used my Yamaha DSR-500, because käppä synth I pledged to use this year.

Lyrics

How does one make
A riff of the wicked kind
With nordic tones and spicy chords
Raising up the minor third

When talent with stringed instruments
Befits not my meaty palms
Yet still I trudge between the frets
Summoning unsacred psalms

Instead of wood and nylon
What you hear now is but
Oh, a synth from ancient times
When I still slept to lullabyes

And dreamt of greatness
Blazing licks along the frets
A destiny never to dawn

Buahahaa
Yahhaahaa
Hohhohhoo
Röh

Fortunately
Cubase knows how to quantize
But alas
My sloppy playing won't suffice

My notes and chords
Bear the essence of porridgeness
Maybe it would be good
To practice sometimes

Comments

[avatar]
@dhiatt
This is pretty killer.
"Meat mittens" 😂
Loving both the growls and clean vocals (and harmonies)
There are some swung notes around 1:14 that sound... unintentional? Or you're intentionally going back and forth between a swing rhythm and straight sixteenths.
It's amazing how you can rock out to the song and not realize how funny the lyrics are. Hilarious, good stuff!
[avatar]
@ndavies
I can simultaneously relate, but am also impressed
[avatar]
@bee
Love this one! I always enjoy when metal goes between screaming and singing. It puts me in such a trance. I rarely get to know the lyrics of this style of music because they can be hard to understand so it was great to get to read along. I loved the lyrics. You have a wonderful way with words again here. Hope Leaves was one of the first songs I learned to play on guitar. Not the same version of Opeth as displayed on this track but I def have a soft spot for that band. Great work!
[avatar]
@mmmmarcus
Oooh this is great! Can definitely hear the Opeth vibe. Guitars sound tight to me. Love the deep growls, you've got quite the range here!
[avatar]
@emplate
Yup, definitely getting that Opeth vibe. The playing sounds very fine to me! The lyrics could be about my own struggles with the playing skills, especially "My notes and chords bear the essence of porridgeness". I feel seen, hahahah!
[avatar]
@ampersandman
Ok, I’m awake now.
Impressive production, sounds really pro. The lyrics gave me a good chuckle. Unless you read along you’d think this song was about Vikings pillaging a village and sacrificing the firstborns.
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