FAWM: "At Least My LG Appliances Make Me Feel Happy"

At Least My LG Appliances Make Me Feel Happy

2 days ago by @joefahey

NSFW

Liner Notes

This title popped in to my head the other day when I heard our new clothes dryer play a happy little tune when it was done. Even though I'd done my research on a new washer and dryer, I somehow missed the fact that these LG appliances sing to you when they're done with their work.

I was amazed that something that corny and cutesy put me in the best mood I've been in for quite some time.

Had the title in my head for a couple days and hadn't thought too much about what lyrics would tell this fascinating tale best. I had a line or 2 in mind but had but I wasn't quite sure how to tackle this one.

Out of curiosity I reluctantly asked Chat GPT for some lyrics. It was almost scary how this AI responded with some pretty insightful lyrics on this odd topic. There was no judgment, no recommendations for mental health hotlines or anything. It was impressive but I was conflicted with the artistic ethics and felt I needed to add my own twist. I thought I could use some of the AI's lyrics mixed with my own, but in the end ,I put them to the side and started fresh from the ground up.

#acoustic #acousticpop #popsong2025

Lyrics

We got us a new sheriff
Who likes to play with tariffs
He says that he’s a genius
But now California’s treeless

So now we got these tariffs
Set in bronzer by this sheriff
And now we got these tariffs
Cos we did not choose the deputy

Now our future’s kinda hazy
Cos this motherfucker’s crazy
Anything he says or does
Is contrary and it’s lazy

So we got this rusty dryer
Trips a circuit when I try ‘er 
And we got a rusty washer
Service Plus says we should toss her

So we went down to a big-box store
Before these tariffs fuck up even more
We were willing to buy anything
Not knowing some wash, dry and sing

And lately I’ve been so depressed
This country’s just a fucking mess
There’s no good news no bag of chips
Shield my eyes like the TV’s a solar eclipse

Then one day I ran a load
No belts broken or circuit overload
No loud klings or klangs
No rumble as clothes tumbled

I could barely hear their motors run
And when it was done I was very stunned
No screeching of gears when the cycle was done
Just a happy little tune this dryer sung

It sang like R2D2 but less yappy
More innocent not so scrappy
At least my LG Appliances
Make me feel happy

Comments

@catetaylor 1d

Hi Joe. This is the first song of yours I’ve listened to and I really liked it. Given the dire state of things I reckon whatever it takes to make you/us happy is good!
So many good and apt verses in this song and I love your singing style. Think you remind me a bit of Lou Reed.
Great song.

@toddnorem 1d

Great to hear you back at it, Joe. Seems like we both had a lull there. I check your page often for new activity, and it was cool to find out you posted a new one right around the same time I did. Yeah, it was late for me so I zonked out right after posting my tune. It seems like we're on the same wavelength with what's going on and maybe how to deal with it when it comes to songwriting. Maybe. It's something new every day. I like this story of just enjoying buying a new appliance. Whether it's satire of consumerism and ignorance, or a comment on how sometimes these things matter because they take you out of some really dark times, it works either way. I listened to it through my iPhone initially, then my laptop speakers, and finally on headphones. It's a good reminder for me to always listen through headphones on these FAWM songs. It's there that I hear the subtlety of the keyboard/synth sound which adds so much to it. A sadness, almost a crying sound. Your voice is really great on this one, works so well with the minimal accompaniment. I find myself being totally sucked in. This motherfucker is crazy...at least it's inspiring some good songs...and some appreciation for LG...life's good! Really cool one here.

@tspoon 1d

Wow. Joe. The creativity and clever rhymes belie the serious nature of the frustrating world situation. Some real
gems here. My favorite is:
He says that he’s a genius
But now California’s treeless
Also love the shield my eyes like the TVs a solar eclipse. Well done. The tune is also very pleasant. Glad you are getting some solace from the new appliances!