11. Daylight

2 days ago by @knobbyneggins815

Liner Notes

#grief #loss #guywithpiano

This song came out of the sessions writing "Empty Nest", where I overwrote everything to the syllable and lost connection to the piece. Here, it was essentially stream of consciousness: it sort of rhymes, it's messy, but it's authentic.

I found that I was working through FAWM and avoiding That One Topic, which is my dad. Initially I came up with the BS excuse to make myself feel better, which was "He's in ALL of my music!". He is. But he also deserves a place in a project about grief and loss.

I ended up writing a song about two specific moments that changed my perspective on my father. The first was when I saw him as a human with flaws and faults and fears. The second was on the day that he died, and I realized he was braver than most.

He was genuinely my biggest fan, and as someone who has trouble sharing myself to friends and family, he always made sure to listen and give me advice (such as "Maybe swear less so your grandmother can listen to them" or "Maybe do a song like Genesis!"), and my younger, less confident (if that is even possible lol) self didn't appreciate it at the time. But I do now.

He wasn't perfect, but no one is. When he got sick, my mother and I cut out all the BS and we grew stronger as a family, and now that he's gone I've vowed to not put her through anymore crap because she's lost enough.

My dad lives through all my music, sure, but also, here is a song that lives through him. I'd hate to beat a dead horse, but once again, this project is about grief so he deserved to be a part of it.

This piece wasn't created in a vacuum, it's building off a few things. First of all, it's a Sister Song to Memory Ln. from the 1st album in this trilogy:
https://soundcloud.com/brandon-brooks-746737217/memory-ln

And secondly it's a spiritual sequel to a song I wrote for my dad a long time ago and released in 2021 called Midnight.
https://soundcloud.com/anti_exit/midnight-air-i

Thanks for listening.

Lyrics

Verse 1:
My father didn't tell us
When he finally quit smoking,
He just did it cold turkey,
As if we'd never figure out.

He was fragile and anxious,
And he thought that he was broken,
So we there for him to pick him up
And pull him off the ground.

He took me to get coffee
And he talked about his childhood
In a way I never heard before
While he was shaky in his hands.

That's the day that I learned
I didn't stand among giants.
When he told me all his stories,
He was just another man.

Pre-Chorus 1:
I know he'd be proud of us
For pushing through all the pain,
If it ever heals.

Chorus:
I can see daylight
At the end of the tunnel,
And it's so far,
But it's a glimmer of hope.

I wanna feel something
Where there used to be nothing
The Night Before.

I can see Daylight.

Verse 2:
I took One Step Forward,
And I barely even tried,
So when my mother called me crying,
I let go of that life.

On The Quiet Drive Back,
I watched the city in the mirror
Disappear into the distance,
And then the years drifted by.

It was early on in April,
After surgery and chemo,
That the snow began to fall,
And he took my mothers hand.

That's the day that he told us
He was ready for the end,
And that's the day that I learned
He wasn't any other man.

Pre-Chorus 2:
I know he'd be proud of us
For making it out alive,
But does it help?

Chorus:
I can see daylight
At the end of the tunnel,
And it's so far,
But there's a glimmer of hope.

I wanna feel something
Where there once was nothing
The Night Before.
Cuz if I never feel it, I'll never grow.

I replay the moments
Where I could have been a better son,
When I was stupid
And young.

I can hear voices
That tell me all of the things he taught.
I can see Daylight.

Tragedy
With a worn-out shell
In a Comedy
Of errors.

Misery,
Oh how I
Wear you well...

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