FAWM: "Observation"

Observation

1 week ago by @philnorman

Observation

philnorman

00:00

Liner Notes

In the fall of 2022, I developed a neurological condition known as FND, or Functional Neurological Disorder, which essentially means that my hardware is fine but my software has gone rather buggy. Many of my lifelong brain-body connections no longer work, most visibly my gait and speech, to say nothing of cognitive and sensory challenges.

But the good news is that, unlike many degenerative neurological conditions, FND means a chance for recovery, for learning and creating new connections between your mind and body. Through physical and speech therapy, I learned to walk and talk again, for the most part. I'm not cured, and some days/weeks/months are better than others. I'm not disabled, I'm adaptable.

Through that process, I've had the chance to learn (and re-learn) a lot about myself, my mind, and my thoughts. Thinking about thinking can get weird. Losing agency over your legs and mouth leads to some strange perspectives and realizations.

I am thankful that FND has not taken my hands from me, and therefore not my guitar. I also learned that the part of your brain that controls speech is not the same part that controls singing. Even when I can barely speak and only stutter and loop words on repeat, I can sing. Music has always been therapy for me, but all the more so now.

Anyway, this song isn't actually about FND, it's about the particular recursive strangeness of being a thinking bag of meat and electricity that can occasionally be aware that it is aware of itself.

#acousticonetake #americana #folk #brain

Lyrics

Do you think that the answer
ever worries about the question?
Do you notice your reaction
begging for attention?

At what point in the waiting
do you know to get up and do?
In between sleeping and waking
who is in control of you?

Where in your travels
do you know it's time to go?
How could I have come so far
and still be halfway home?

Instinct or self-preservation
does the river care where it leads?
If I may make an observation,
I am not alone in me

Do you think that the answer
ever worries about the question?
Do you notice your reaction
begging for attention?

Comments

@scottmcb 4h

Your guitar playing is excellent. Voice and melody are top notch as always. Really interesting that speech and singing come from different parts of the brain. What a confounding, complex organ that thing is.

@hanley 2d

Beautiful all around here. That guitar and melodic hook are so warm and delightful, it's a joy to hear them looping throughout. The vocals are so tender and sweet too, and the little delay at the end of each line is a nice touch, as if each thought or memory is always echoing in the distance.
Thanks for sharing the story of your journey these last few years, and it certainly sounds like music is your medicine through the tough times, what a blessing to have that in your life.

@greengrassgirl 2d

You had me on the first two lines! Wish I'd thought of that! On the other hand, these are exactly the weird kinds of things I think about all the time! No wonder I relate to your songs!

@deena 5d

This is so beautiful, simply put, universal and eternal. A stunner! So very sorry to hear about your health challenges. It’s amazing and a great gift that you can still play and sing through it all.

@jeffdesantis 1w

This is lovely, and the lyrics really grab me. Is this an alternate tuning?

@cmharwood89 1w

This is so soothing. Beautifully written, sung, and played. It's a really cool perspective - what part of you is *you* and how aware is that *you* of pulling all the levers that drive you around every day? The "I am not alone in me" is a perfect distillation of that.

And thanks for sharing the personal backstory, even if it isn't the topic of the song. I think I can speak for everybody in saying we're glad your playing and singing are as unaltered as ever.

@celineellis 1w

I love the introspective lyrics. The questions really make you think. The guitar part is gorgeous as ever, and perfect to carry the lyrics so nicely. Never outshining. Thanks for sharing the liner notes as well, really vulnerable of you.

@oddbod 1w

This is beautifully melancholic and poetic and an shiveringly intimate performance. Sorry to hear this is still with you Phil, but glad at least you're still able to play and produce wonderful music with your hands and vocally (not least for the selfish reason that I can listen 🙂)

@paulotteson 1w

What a treat! The contemplative lyrics are delivered so thoughtful alongside the compelling guitar part. Your voice is calming and just lovely to listen to. Beautiful piece!

@klyma 1w

This is a lovely melody. What a beautiful game of chase being played between your guitar and voice.

In all the years we've been friends, I've always known you to be a keen observer of the world. You write with such empathy, it would be easy to hear this as a classic Rockstar Phil insight.

Thank you so much for sharing so much in your liner notes and for writing and singing these questions about "the particular recursive strangeness of being a thinking bag of meat and electricity that can occasionally be aware that it is aware of itself." Love you, Rockstar.

@kvnwoodruff 1w

You sent me down a rabbit hole of scholarly articles regarding FND. Interesting, but I’m very sorry you had to deal with that! It seems that your playing, singing, and songwriting have recovered well as you’re firing on all cylinders!

@hamiltonpoolhall 1w

Holy cow, I imagine none of us would have ever known from hearing you continue to make music at the same remarkable level you always have here. And very glad to hear it is a condition where there is a distinct prospect for recovery.

I loved this song from the outset - such a strong thematic melody, so much the more memorable and effective for the way you shadow it on the guitar. (I'm already on my second listen.) There's something about this, musically, that feels both traditional and contemporary, which is no mean feat.

It's also such a great opening couplet, drawing you in right away. I hope this isn't too facile an observation, but the marriage between guitar and voice, in combination with the register and restraint of your vocal and the immaculately up-close recording of it all is definitely providing me with Nick Drake vibes.

There's also something pretty special about delivering such a personal, introspective lyric so musically that one might not even realize how personal it is without going back for a closer read.

@jeff9 1w

Really brave of you, Phil, to disclose all this about yourself. What a blessing that you're finding a way to cope with it and even more so, that it's not prevented your musical talents from continuing to flourish. This is deeply thoughtful and gorgeously performed. I guess many of us have had similar thoughts like, "when I'm talking to myself, exactly who is talking and who is listening?" I think that can sometimes lead to a certain amount of spirituality