[avatar]

Joel D Canfield

@spinhead
Follow

Songs

50

Joined

2006

Apparently I'm writing a steampunk opera this year.
::::::
River Meadow Mountain Home: Fanfare and Overture https://write.fawm.org/songs/281293
Meadow River Mountain https://write.fawm.org/songs/281533
Before the Plunge https://write.fawm.org/songs/282223
River https://write.fawm.org/songs/283920
Fight to Live https://write.fawm.org/songs/284074
Mountain Meadow https://write.fawm.org/songs/284357
To the Mountain https://write.fawm.org/songs/284358
Getting Closer https://write.fawm.org/songs/284804
Make it Today https://write.fawm.org/songs/284818
First https://write.fawm.org/songs/285194
Hope Shock Despair https://write.fawm.org/songs/285567
No Crossing https://write.fawm.org/songs/286720
Mountain Pass https://write.fawm.org/songs/286785
Dust https://write.fawm.org/songs/287171
Home Is https://write.fawm.org/songs/287320
Home Anew https://write.fawm.org/songs/286861
::::::
FAWM 19 for me. Past year has been less cowboy songs, more orchestral, like this: https://art.tunehenge.com/the-caravan-prepares-before-dawn-and-departs-with-the-sunrise/

But, there'll be cowboy. Oh yes.

Songs

[avatar] +1 collaborators
4
PEMDAS by @spinhead +1 more #math #jazz #blues
[avatar]
5
The Ugliest Fish by @spinhead #silly #duet #oompah
[avatar]
2
Dark Thrash 3 in C by @spinhead #edm #electronic #synthpop
[avatar]
2
Dark Thrash 2 in Am by @spinhead #edm #electronic #synthpop
[avatar]
2
Dark Thrash 1 in F-sharp by @spinhead #edm #electronic #synthpop
[avatar]
2
Where Is the One? by @spinhead #acapella
[avatar]
2
Quiet in the Dark by @spinhead #prog #progressive #instrumental
[avatar]
11
Sleep Is Overrated by @spinhead #electronic #dance
[avatar]
1
River song count correction placeholder by @spinhead #placeholder
[avatar]
1
River song count correction placeholder by @spinhead #placeholder
[avatar]
1
River song count correction placeholder by @spinhead #placeholder
[avatar]
1
Fanfare and Overture song count correction placeholder by @spinhead #placeholder
[avatar]
16
Fresh Peaches by @spinhead #classical #flute #clarinet
[avatar]
2
Marrakesh Mystery Market by @spinhead #instrumental #mandolin #eastern
[avatar]
2
From Where I Stand by @spinhead #purging #acoustic #autobiographical
[avatar]
2
Double Harmonic Improvisation in A♯ by @spinhead #erhu #synthpop #instrumental
[avatar]
6
Get 'Em While They're Hot! by @spinhead #acoustic #acoustic_one_take #guitar
[avatar]
14
Born in the Wrong Family by @spinhead #family #neurospicy
[avatar]
4
Mountain Pass by @spinhead #orchestral #slow #classical
[avatar]
5
Hope Shock Despair by @spinhead #instrumental #orchestral #symphonic
[avatar]
6
Make it Today by @spinhead #rock #guitar #mandolin
[avatar]
10
Getting Closer by @spinhead #instrumental #orchestral #rock
[avatar]
4
To the Mountain by @spinhead #rock #piano #guitar
[avatar]
4
Fight to Live by @spinhead #acoustic #folk #one-take
[avatar]
7
Before the Plunge by @spinhead #orchestral #rock #steampunk
[avatar]
19
Meadow River Mountain by @spinhead #folk #banjo #slow
[avatar]
15
River Meadow Mountain Home: Fanfare and Overture by @spinhead #rivermeadowmountainhome_thesteampunkopera #instrumental #orchestral

Soundboard

[avatar]
Thank you so much for Abstraction 101! This gives me something new to work with. Thanks for saying I can email you. I just may do that!
[avatar]
Joel, I'm still thinking about how to make my verses abstract. Thinking of getting a couple of Pat Pattison's books because he explains how to show instead of tell in lyrics. Is there a book or article you could recommend on how to find/choose more abstract words and phrases? If not, would you please write one? -just kidding. Many thanks again for your helpful insightful comments!
[avatar]
Finally I’ve given myself the time to listen to your steampunk opera from start to finish in one sitting. How you managed to write another 30+ songs after this I don’t know. I’ve commented on my two favourite songs but I enjoyed all of it…the hopefulness of the overture, the glimpse behind the curtain to see the maestro at work during Fight to live, the guitar at the end of Before the Plunge, the great finale using the ABCDEFG challenge. And I’ve loved hearing what can achieved in GarageBand. I’m an iOS user myself but the temptation to go Mac is always there
[avatar]
OK, back with more details on your very thoughtful comments on my song "The Habits I Hide":

You did a good job of catching my lines that are hard to sing, and that's super helpful. It makes me realize how focused I am on the words meaning, rather than their sounds, and that's something I need to change. I'm also realizing that I'm expecting the words to do all the work, which is dumb and counterproductive in a song -- the melody and singing can, and should, add its own stuff, so there needs to be room for that.

I agree on the cliche -- I'll rewrite it later.

Your comment on "they say . . . I never follow through" is subtle and right on. I'll rewrite.

Thanks again!
[avatar]
Continuing on your comments on My Grandfather's Town.
6. Rats! I lost my text when I switched to a new Message.
You mentioned "thrived" as a clinical term. I certainly know what you mean, and there are always better ways to say something. When I wrote that, I was thinking of how my friends would think of the situation, and "thrived" felt natural. I agree with you that natural phrasing is key; what's difficult for me is knowing/guessing what will sound natural to the listener. I can hear my friends saying, "With all the new construction in the West End, that part of town is thriving," and that would sound very natural to me. So I guess my question is, how does a writer know when a word will connect and when it won't? Perhaps the answer is more SHOW, not TELL. Examples are better than statements. Lesson (hopefully) learned.
7. "It couldn't survive." See Point #6. 😀
8. Again, I like your urging to SHOW his confusion and dismay rather than describing it. That would make this a better lyric, and I appreciate your suggestions.
Thank you, Joel, for all the time and expertise you offered here, It is very helpful and will be part of my process from now on.
[avatar]
Your comments on My Grandfather's Town were worth waiting for. Glad you're feeling better and took the time to give me such extensive feedback. Thank you!
1. Glad you liked the Main Street line.
2. I was interested in your reaction to what I would call "near rhymes: In V2, "it" and "yet," and in V3, "expected" and "deadness." I don't see those as "no rhyme at all," and I actually tried to make the rhymes more subtle. But it's good to know that some listeners prefer perfect rhymes. I will keep that in mind.
3. I see your point about the "dust" line. Your suggestion of "covered in dust" appeals to me more than "the color of dust." Thank you.
4. I also get what you mean about "ghost" and "town." Could be perceived as a cliche, and we don't want that.
5. As for the rhymes scheme in the Ch, you are correct that it is ABCDDC. Interesting that it felt awkward to you. It felt just right to me. I wonder how a writer is supposed to know?
As in other sections, you have reminded me to use more natural phrasing. I'm not sure I agree with you that "thrived" is a clinical term, but I see your point, and I will take that into account. I agree with you that natural phrasing is very important. I guess it depends on what feels "natural" to each individual. I would use "thrived" in conversation and would appreciate it when friends said the same, but maybe other people wouldn't. So you have pointed out something I should really focus on next time. Hard to know sometimes what is natural and what isn't. The speaker is a city man and I could hear him thinking that. Oh, the intricacies of writing-and-relating!

Oops..I'm running out of space. More in a minute here.
[avatar]
Thank you so much for your feedback, Joel! It's very interesting, because many of the lyrics you point out were ones I also found awkward. I should pay attention to those uneasy feelings. Now I shall focus on them and make them more interesting/flow better! Very much appreciated. You rock. :)
[avatar]
Well thanks. Your feedback is the most detailed I have ever had and doesn’t disappoint. I can’t disagree with any of the mild issues- with ‘look’ ( we say ‘ I can’t look’ when something is dangerous or likely to fail) ‘20 20’ ( it should be ‘in’ btw not ‘at’- but it is of course ‘20 20 vision’ and so wasn’t sure if I could get away with what I wrote) and so on . I’m
Surprised ( and pleased) you didn’t pick up on the ‘visas’ which was a bit cheeky … thanks so much. For your gentleness - and for the effort you put in and for the kind words and the insightful provisos. I didn’t set it myself and therefore it did create a few issues for Robin who did a version of it to a strict rhythm ( I was considering adding longer bars to make space for the hanging lines in the two verses - and pauses to allow asides or extra words - though to be fair I also often find I make changes naturally once I start singing . I might have dropped into spoken word/rap for the latter section might still if I do play around with it myself. Anyway I digress, many thanks
[avatar]
Thanks, Joel. Sorry you're under the weather. I look forward to your comments when you're back with us.
[avatar]
Hi thanks fir replying to my feedback. Looking forward to feedback on my lyrics
[avatar]
I would love feedback on my lyrics. Perhaps If Ever A Moment, or My Grandfather's Town, or any of the others on my page. Feedback is always welcome.
[avatar]
@spinhead Oh, thank you ever so much for your comments and suggestions for "Burnt Toast." Your song "Water Over Stone" is so moving and so artistic that I see what you mean by abstracting from painful experiences to create art. I will do my best to rework my verses so that they're more abstract, more artistic. The comments you have made on my two songs are so in-depth, clear and helpful that they will influence my past and future songwriting. You, sir, are a treasure. My sincere thanks to you!
[avatar]
@treble so you don't miss it, yes indeed I am delighted to jump in again, especially for that beauty of a song
[avatar]
I hesitate to ask, because you've already commented on one of my songs, but if you had time would you listen to and comment on another?
https://write.fawm.org/songs/294045
I know you've had a lot of requests for comments so if you're too busy please disregard. Thanks!
[avatar]
My deepest thanks for your comments on my song, "Lost in Bahrain." This is the most helpful feedback I have EVER gotten on a song and I will be able to apply it to others I've written as well. You are so good at critiquing without being negative. Thanks again!
[avatar]
Thanks very much for your thoughts on the lyrics of "Gutter Full of Tears". I can tell that you listened (and read) with great care and I appreciate that. I'm not sure what I will do with your information. I find that, after the hurry of FAWM, all the air has gone out of my balloon for March. Definitely a slower pace for a bit.
[avatar]
Thanks for your detailed comments on my lyrics! I'll respond in more detail later.
[avatar]
Hi Joel, thank you for your kind offer to comment on lyrics. It will be very useful for me to have your feedback.
The first link for my music and two others lyrics only for now:
https://write.fawm.org/songs/292750
https://write.fawm.org/songs/292618
https://write.fawm.org/songs/290426
[avatar]
Hi Joel, Thanks for your kind offer to comment on lyrics. If you feel like it, you can check out my "The Habits I Hide" at https://write.fawm.org/songs/296389 -- they're currently without music because my collaborator ran out of time.

My favorite lyrics of this FAWM (both are collaborations where others wrote the music and performed them) are "The Kissing Games of Adolescents in Ohio in 1958" at https://write.fawm.org/songs/293437 , and "Mornings with Wonders" at https://write.fawm.org/songs/293523 .
[avatar]
50 songs is an awesome amount!! I crept up to over 60 without realizing how many I’d written/improvised. I tried to get at least 1 skirmish in a day, but maybe it was way more than that…another form of time blindness. I’m really happy to have practiced posting against all my perfectionist tendencies. It’s very refreshing to be productive musically… Feels like a rut has been gotten out of. I hope you find the perfect grandkids, lots of youngsters out there that desperately need a loving elder in their lives writing such charming and beautiful songs about them.
[avatar]
Hi Joel!

Thanks for responding to my comment on the thread I where I talk about my need to convert GB m4a tracks to MP3’s. Do you have GB on an IPad or iPhone? I only have GB on my older IPad and iPhone, no computer or laptop at my disposal and ion both these devices GB doesn’t give the mp3 option when sharing or sending from the M4a’s, that’s why I had to download the converter app. At the time I was quite confused I couldn’t access conversion to mP3’s with my versions of GB, but I do know computers and laptops can be set up rather differently compared to the smaller IOS portable devices. I’d love to be proven wrong, but I couldn’t find a solution to this until I got that extra APP converter (non Apple) installed on my phone.
[avatar]
Hey Joel! Thanks so much for all your lovely comments on my songs! I look forward to digging in on your page and getting caught up on some listening over the next few weeks! 😊✨
[avatar]
Hey Joel, thanks SO much for all your support and interaction :-) I remember you've been like this from day one (2008) and I remember how you noticed my 2009 CD Baby release, promoted it in your own blog spaces, and rewrote much better marketing copy for it than I knew how to do. Your copy is still something a web search for my music can cough up, which to me is an amazing fact given how the searches work now!

I had a fun drive last summer from Oakland to LA (went roller skating on a thursday) then to Chandler via San Diego on I-8 (saw Calexico at the casino on the friday). Reverse drive on I-10 (via LA) the next two days. I saw so many beautiful things. If I find myself driving to AZ again I will absolutely let you know.
[avatar]
Thank you for your kind words & encouragement! It means a lot to me. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your February!
[avatar]
'@hamiltonpoolhall "watched far too many British mysteries set in small, rural villages"—as if that were possible. I've been studying movie scoring so I'm pleased it's leaking through.' – haha! Agreed, not possible (fortunately, Ms. Poohall is in agreement on that one as well). Studying film scoring, very nice! Definitely leaking through. That's the pursuit that inspired my composition studies, though now the pursuit to do scoring has ebbed somewhat, the fascination with things like counterpoint and four-part writing remain.
[avatar]
Very good. Just needed to be reminded of what I had already forgot… your liner notes lol.
[avatar]
I know, right? As unsavory as pot roast.
[avatar]
Thanks for your kind words. Vielen Dank! 😀
Always feeling a bit insecure when I am writing English lyrics.
But I love this language ever since I was I child: I wanted to know what the Beatles were singing about. (Later on I read that even Ringo didn't know what all the songs were about... 😄 )
[avatar]
I'll be back!
[avatar]
Thanks so much for taking the time to listen and comment so generously on all of my tracks. I’ve had a little dip into a few of yours but I didn’t start at the beginning so I will definitely make some time for the steampunk once you are finished
[avatar]
<3
And I will catch up on the listens I owe you!
[avatar]
Thanks for the props! I wondered if I had found myself on top of a soapbox unasked! :-)
[avatar]
Happy FAWM!
[avatar]
Cheers Joel, lovely to see you in fawm-land, and with the Spinhead Orchestra in tow! I'm getting a visual, maybe I'll jot some notes on that and see what comes of it....
[avatar]
Happy FAWM!
[avatar]
Hey Joel! Thanks for your message on my page! Have a great FAWM! Looking forward to hearing your creations! ✨
[avatar]
Thanks - can't make any promises, but I'll certainly try. There's definitely some clever wordplay going on in that thread - the Pizza Gabriel one got me as well.
[avatar]
Hey Joel! Happy FAWMing!
[avatar]
Ooh I’m looking forward to hearing that violin for sure! :-)
[avatar]
Hey Joel.

I definitely have fun with the soundtrack type work, definitely recommend Zach Heyde on YouTube if you're looking for tutorials for getting into the style.
[avatar]
Yep, Scottsdale. I was in San Tan once! It was far and we had good ribs.
[avatar]
Class of 2006! Have a great 19th.
[avatar]
Yay. Can't wait to hear more from you.
[avatar]
Happy FAWMing! 🙌🏻
[avatar]
Happy FAWMing!
[avatar]
Hiya, Joel!!
[FAWM]